Lessons on Life
There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn
not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a
quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great
distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in
the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the
fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them
together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that
the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it
was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son
disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so
sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he
had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said
it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and
fulfillment. The man then explained to his sons that they were
all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the
tree's life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a
person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are
and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can
only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you
give up when it's winter, you will miss the promise of your
spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.
Moral: Don't let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all
the rest. Don't judge life by one difficult season. Persevere
through the difficult patches and better times are sure to come
some time or later. 1/30/06
The Old Grandfather's Table
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and
four-year-old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his
eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate
together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands
and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his
spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on
the tablecloth.The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with
the mess."We must do something about Grandfather," said the
son."I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food
on the floor."
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There
Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed
dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was
served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in
Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as
he sat alone.Still, the only words the couple had for him were
sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The
four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing
with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What
are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am
making a little bowl for Papa and Mama to eat their food in when
I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The
words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then
tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was
spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband
took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family
table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family.
And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any
longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth
soiled. Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever
observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process
the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a
happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that
attitude for the rest of their lives. The wise parent realizes
that every day the building blocks are being laid for the
child's future.
Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five
balls in the air.
You name them - work, family, health, friends and spirit, and
you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand
that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.
But the other four balls - family, health, friends and spirit
are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be
irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered.
They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive
for balance in your life. How?
1. Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
2. Don't set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
3. Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart.
Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is
meaningless.
4. Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in
the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a
time, you live ALL the days of your life.
5. Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing
is really over until the moment you stop trying.
6. Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It
is this fragile thread that binds us together.
7. Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances
that we learn how to be brave.
8. Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to
find. The quickest way to receive love is to give; the fastest
way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to
keep love is to give it wings.
9. Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where
you've been, but also where you are going.
10. Don't forget that a person's greatest emotional need is to
feel appreciated.
11. Don't be afraid to learn. Knowledge is weightless, a
treasure you can always carry easily.
12. Don't use time or words carelessly. Neither can be
retrieved.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the
way. Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery, and Today is a
gift: That's why we call it - The Present."
Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn wrote when asked to
share her "beauty tips." It was read at her funeral years later.
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes,
seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food
with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her
fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the
knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than
things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and
redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a
helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
Why Women Cry
A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because
I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will."
Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to
cry for no reason?"
"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.
The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why
women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he
asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"
God said:
"When I made the woman she had to be special.
I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the
world,
yet gentle enough to give comfort.
I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the
rejection that many times comes from her children.
I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when
everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through
sickness and fatigue without complaining.
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and
all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.
I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and
fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his
wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand
beside him unfalteringly.
And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively
to use whenever it is needed."
"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the
clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she
combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is
the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."
THE STAMP
Like most elementary schools, it was typical to have a parade of
students in and out of the health clinic throughout the day. We
dispensed ice for bumps and bruises, Band-Aids for cuts, and
liberal doses of sympathy and hugs. As principal, my office was
right next door to the clinic, so I often dropped in to lend a
hand and help out with the hugs. I knew that for some kids, mine
might be the only one they got all day.
One morning I was putting a Band-Aid on a little girl's scraped
knee. Her blonde hair was matted, and I noticed that she was
shivering in her thin little sleeveless blouse. I found her a
warm sweatshirt and helped her pull it on. "Thanks for taking
care of me," she whispered as she climbed into my lap and
snuggled up against me.
It wasn't long after that when I ran across an unfamiliar lump
under my arm. Cancer, an aggressively spreading kind, had
already invaded thirteen of my lymph nodes. I pondered whether
or not to tell the students about my diagnosis. The word breast
seemed so hard to say out loud to them, and the word cancer
seemed so frightening.
When it became evident that the children were going to find out
one way or another, either the straight scoop from me or
possibly a garbled version from someone else, I decided to tell
them myself. It wasn't easy to get the words out, but the
empathy and concern I saw in their faces as I explained it to
them told me I had made the right decision. When I gave them a
chance to ask questions, they mostly wanted to know how they
could help. I told them that what I would like best would be
their letters, pictures and prayers.
I stood by the gym door as the children solemnly filed out. My
little blonde friend darted out of line and threw herself into
my arms. Then she stepped back to look up into my face. "Don't
be afraid, Dr. Perry," she said earnestly, "I know you'll be
back because now it's our turn to take care of you."
No one could have ever done a better job. The kids sent me off
to my first chemotherapy session with a hilarious book of nausea
remedies that they had written. A video of every class in the
school singing get-well songs accompanied me to the next
chemotherapy appointment. By the third visit, the nurses were
waiting at the door to find out what I would bring next. It was
a delicate music box that played "I Will Always Love You."
Even when I went into isolation at the hospital for a bone
marrow transplant, the letters and pictures kept coming until
they covered every wall of my room.
Then the kids traced their hands onto colored paper, cut them
out and glued them together to make a freestanding rainbow of
helping hands. "I feel like I've stepped into Disneyland every
time I walk into this room," my doctor laughed. That was even
before the six-foot apple blossom tree arrived adorned with
messages written on paper apples from the students and teachers.
What healing comfort I found in being surrounded by these tokens
of their caring.
At long last I was well enough to return to work. As I headed up
the road to the school, I was suddenly overcome by doubts. What
if the kids have forgotten all about me? I wondered, What if
they don't want a skinny bald principal? What if . . . I caught
sight of the school marquee as I rounded the bend. "Welcome
Back, Dr. Perry," it read. As I drew closer, everywhere I looked
were pink ribbons - ribbons in the windows, tied on the
doorknobs, even up in the trees. The children and staff wore
pink ribbons, too.
My blonde buddy was first in line to greet me. "You're back, Dr.
Perry, you're back!" she called. "See, I told you we'd take care
of you!"
As I hugged her tight, in the back of my mind I faintly heard my
music box playing . . "I will always love you."